i will always remember

i must apologize for my week of nothing on this blog... but to be honest i was in mourning... and a part of me will be for the rest of my life... for late on saturday, september 4th... my teta (that means aunt in macedonian), went to Heaven.  and so in an effort to start making this blog even more personal... i shall share my thoughts...

the first question people ask normally is, "was it expected?"... "yes... no... "  how do i anwser that?  because here's the thing... death was NEVER the plan... in the beginning - death was not in the cards... then enter sin thus then enter death (romans 6:23)... enter death thus enter hope.  yes.. hope... hope in things unseen.  hope in a savior (aka JESUS) who died on the cross - went to hell - AND CAME BACK.  hell and back - to defeat death.  for you and for me.  for all who believe.  and my aunt - she believed.  my nephews are so amazing with this concept - to them death is not sad.  not one bit.  they laugh, run around, and at my baba's funeral - they blew bubbles at her casket.  because they are so aware of where the dead have gone.  so aware that the dead - are not dead (romans 14:8).  jon even asked me once, "when can i go to heaven?"  at five he got it more than i did.  heaven is the GOAL.  the thing we press onto (phil 3:14).  however in my grief i find so much hope in john 11:35, "JESUS WEPT".  Jesus wept... he grieved for his friend.  and that is where i find myself ... i grieve... i weep... even while i hold onto the hope that Jesus gives... i know the reunion that awaits us.  i know she is at peace.  that she walks now with no pain... that there is only joy... that she is with Jesus... and all those who i have loved who have gone before her... i know i will see her again... and yet... i will miss her as i live out the things God still has for me to do here on earth...

my sweet godmother

for the lessons and memories i thank you.

i carry you with me... always.